A DD/lg dynamic blog, with overtones of BDSM and whatever else I feel like posting. :P
(This is a sexually explicit blog. If you are under 18, Please leave now. I *will* block people.)
This is how I feel, lately. This last week, it’s got REALLY bad, again. Worse than ever. I haven’t left my apartment except to go to work because I knew it wasn’t safe to drive.
The fact that you’re struggling doesn’t make you a burden. It doesn’t make you unloveable or undesirable or undeserving of care. It doesn’t make you too much or too sensitive or too needy. It makes you human. Everyone struggles. Everyone has a difficult time coping, and at times, we all fall apart. During these times, we aren’t always easy to be around — and that’s okay. No one is easy to be around one hundred percent of the time. Yes, you may sometimes be unpleasant or difficult. And yes, you may sometimes do or say things that make the people around you feel helpless or sad. But those things aren’t all of who you are and they certainly don’t discount your worth as a human being. The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved. You can be difficult and still be cared for. You can be less than perfect, and still be deserving of compassion and kindness.
Rebloging because this is so relevant, right now.
I feel like such a burden, lately.
I feel like I’m floating on a vast ocean, hanging onto this tiny life raft, and it has a leak, and I’m trying to fix the leak with chewing gum, and if I stop for too many seconds, I’ll drown.
But sometimes, all I want to do is stop.
Right now, I want to stop. I don’t think I can do this. I’m not sure I can be an adult. I need to find a new job with better hours, but lately the best I can do is get myself to school or work, then come home and curl up in bed and try not to hurt so much.
Just managing to get out of bed in the morning is becoming such a challenge.
I can’t remember the last test I passed at school. The information just doesn’t seem to stick anymore. I manage to go to class, but it doesn’t matter because I’m not really there.
I’m almost always somewhere in the back of my skull, where my brain thinks it doesn’t hurt so much.
But that’s the problem.
My brain is wrong.
It still hurts so badly.
Or maybe like this. Or maybe all of them.
all i want to do is learn stuff and not have compulsory tests on it
i love learning new stuff
and reading new books
but when i stress myself out to the point where i’m crying because of exams
that kinda takes the fun out of it
do you feel me
This is how I feel at school, lately.
sleeping with your stuffed animals is punk rock don’t let anybody tell you different